main blog

the ghost

2004-09-11T08:55:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging properly for ages /: was too busyy. it feels so nice blogging again (:

yupyup. gonna have a new layout! this layout sucks =x but shld i have a layout of two ppl kissing or another ashlee simpson layout? you'll be expecting loads of ashlee simpson layouts. haha. i'm currently crazee over ashlee simpson (x

/wednesday]
trng was funn! had quite a lot of prep talk but we still trained. i ain't improving much. sigh. gotta buck up. haha.

didn't go watch movie although i was supposed to with shan. hurhur. shan was lazy to go to j8 coz i had 2 gv free tix.

had bbq at night. coach took damn long to prepare the charcoal, etc. he was practically taking his shweet time while we were suffering in hunger. haha. so we decided to eat the mushmellows first. ricks was throwing the mashmellows while shan was catching them. and as you know, shan's catching sucks =x so most of the mashmellows dropped on the floor which attracted the ants and we took some sparkles and burnt the ants together with the mashmellows -.- so cruel rite. haha.

went to hide shan's slippers among some bushes and we couldn't find it until ricks and jia helped us. it was prettay funn. everyone got pushed into the water except me. haha. i went up early to bathe and refused to go down. it was chaotic (x

/thursday]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAN!

went to watch anacondas with my twin. the show sucks. storyline was anticlimatic. expected. lol. ppl hunting for something. den the snakes came. and in the end some irritating ppl were killed and so were the snakes. bleh. we were kinda making fun of the characters and laughing throughout the movie. haha. it was funn.

/friday]
trng was rather alright. didn't do much. was sickk ): -cough- went to yiling's house after trng and i learnt to play a song on the guitar! (: i like yiling's electric guitar. haha.

had lunch in j8. didn't eat much coz there weren't much choices in the foodcourt. watched cinderella story at 5.05 coz the tix for the 2+ show was sold out -.- we were damn shagged and bored. we had 3 hours to spare k.

went to macs coz we wanted to spend our 3 whole hours thr chatting away. it's still better than walking rite. went to henry's counter and ordered food. den zhi jing said some crap =x it was really funny. we were crapping the whole time in macs (x

cinderella story was nicee. nicer than anacondas. typical love story but it's still nice (:

/saturday - today]
really hope my parents will allow me to watch the midnight show of ghost. actually it was meant to fool nicholas that my twin and i are watching the ghost together. den nicholas actually have 2 spare tix and asked us if we wanna go. with free transport. haha. i wanna go! (: really pity nicholas's parents. from orchard have to drop me off at bukit timah. den twin at tampanies [sp?] and back to hougang again -.- petrol's really cheap nowadays huh. lol.

2004-09-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

can't stand my old layout anymore. haha. anywayys made a new layout! (: feat ashlee simpson. it was pretty random and kinda rushy. did it within 1.5 hrs? considering that my html skills is way from the experts :

i promise i'll make a better layout once i get my new address (: the one i always had in mine. haha. it'll be similar to this but i'll put in more effort. credits, links and stuff are not updated. shall do it later. meanwhile i shall go bathe. it's so late already (x boobye`

hiatus

2004-09-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

hmms. gonna get my new url soon. hopefully. found a host already and i'll be shifting soon (:

didn't do much today. went shopping with my mummyy and granny. bought quite a lot of stuff =x haha.

already have an idea what my next lay's gonna look like but i won't start on in so soon. yesyes. until i shift to my new site (x

new hp

2004-08-30T21:10:00.000+08:00

it's gonna be a damn short entry. haha. uber summerized. ohwells.

_i got a new phone. finally made my decision between n6230 and ericsson k700i. bought n6230. haha. changed my numbuhh too.

_couldn't go for hum tonight ): loads of workk and i'm damn shagged after trng. although we were rather slackk

_didn't go for nick's bday partayy. couldn't go. luckily i didn't =x jkjk. they made this gal cry [damn bad rite =s], pushed someone into the pool and bought thongs for nick -.-" haha.

_scored prettay low for hcl ): -sobx

gtg bathe liao. haha. so late rite (x boobye`

1 corinthians 9:24-27

2004-08-23T19:50:00.000+08:00

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my sleave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

1 corinthians 9:24-27

trng was pretty alright. not tiring enough. i want a tougher trng. just like last time. but lesser pressure (: not gonna blog so often noww. gotta mug for hcl and sci this week. blahh. i'm really looking forward to the sept hols. haha. i'm shagged.

crazus

2004-08-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

said that i'm on hiatus but i've no idea why i'm still updating -.- i miss my phone! )': got confiscated. argh. whateverr. anyways thankeww` twin for cheering me up todayy (: felt so much better after talking to my granny. i seriously can communicate better with my granny -.-

school was prettay fun. i dropped crazus when i went to the toilet with dawn =x dawn practically screamed manx. haha. it's fun to torture crazus. muahaha. den we hung him on the string of the projector (x poor crazus. i'm never gonna let eylon get tortured like that. haha. had math presentation and dawn was insulting our group just becoz she didn't get to present. she saved the powerpoint presentation as a shortcut =x okok. i still think shanise has a crush on twin! -hides

uhoh. i've yet to mug for tmr's math test. shit. ohoh and tmr's gonna be hell. dawn's math presentation. diao -.-'

retardeddd

2004-08-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

before i go off to bathe and do my hw i shall post another entry (: haven't done that in a long time but nvm. haha. i'm retardeddddd + insaneeee today (x been laughing a lot. laughed at funny and not-so-funny stuff. blah. basically everything lahh.

alrights. found out that i'm hopelessly blur. mixed up identities and that everything's actually a misunderstanding. actually more than that but heck lahh. just figured it out today. haha. ohoh and thankew` sosososo much. you should know who you are (: really. thanks for all the help and crapping. anywayys. i'm semi-grounded these few days. sigh. no more late phone calls for me ):

ok so this is basically a thankew post (: dunno what else to blog already. just hope that everyday will past as fast as today and soon my life will be over. hahaha. jkjk. i don't wanna die yet. at least not now =x

finally done

2004-08-15T13:22:00.000+08:00

finally done with my blog (: yups. navigation's up and stuff. perhaps i'm going on hiatus. really no time to update \: oh and i may change my url. as soon as i've found a host. but until then i'm still stuck with this url. haha.

didn't go to church today. slackerr. so i basically stayed at home and finished my layout. didn't do anything much. so boring. watched prince of tennis. haha. it roxx (:

-.-' diaoism. really don't know what else i can blog about. hmmm. think i should stop here and go have my lunch (: yay. gonna have trng tmr! let's hope nobody quits. was talking to mr koh ytd after trng and he suggested that we should have a junior squash mg team so by sec 1 they would be ready for nationals. ohwells. really hope my sister joins squash. together with dawn's and ruth's sister. hmmm. let's hope c'div 05 will be able to achieve gold just like the c'div this year (:

boringg

2004-08-13T22:41:00.000+08:00

new layout! (: but it's half done :/ oops. haha. gonna add in the navigation soonish.

it has been some time since i last updated. haha. life's boring and screwed up. hmm. i'm quite sick of my new layout noww : took me one week to complete it (x so long ritee.

ohwells. got back hist, sci and geog test. scored pretty ok. kinda screwed up again -.-" hardly studied and i failed my ting xie. haha =x

there's really nothing for me to blog about. i'm just blogging for the sake of blogging =s ok that's crap. ohoh. trng roxx (: didn't do anything much today. was kinda slackk. hmm. wish i had run more rounds.

blah. nothing significant. haha. should go upload some picx now den slp (: nitenite`

2004-08-07T15:49:00.000+08:00

i don't know what's with me
sliding into depression
i know i've treated you bad
sorry is nothing more than a useless word i can say
i hide my face
coz i don't want you to see me cry
see the endless tears
which flowed down my cheeks
i avoid you
coz i don't want to show you my cold side
there's nothing more i can do
i'm broken inside
torn apart
and i can't
i can't piece it back
all i know is
my world is crashing
without you.

digi cam

2004-07-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

whee. jus got my digi cam (: sorta played around with it. i lovee this pic!

my bearr and racquet! haha.

went out with dawnaee today. had lunch at kap and dawn got her bear from peter which she named crazus. haha. jus bcoz it sounded like crazy. went to j8 to shop. bought this skirt and blouse. a weird combination but i like it (; took some retarded neos which dawn was really proud of. haha. she can really bcome a fashion consultant or fashion designer manx. anyways going out with dawn can kill. she'll drive you nuts with her lame jokes and she only gave me 10 secs to try the clothes on -.-"

can't believe it's first aug (x one month passed so fastt. it seemed like yesterday when school jus re-opened. haha. hmmm? moomoo.

personal trng

2004-07-25T15:37:00.000+08:00

deleted my tagboard. perhaps haloscan's better. so if you have any comment on my entries, just post it on haloscan kays? it's the link below every one of my entry (: oh. and i deleted the shoutoutx page too. i find it rather useless :x

service was rather ok : didn't like the sermon though. the speaker kept on laughing and "boasting" bout herself. couldn't actually get what she was trying to say other than indirectly saying that she's a great pastor. as if :s

cell rocked. discussed bout the different kingdoms in the bible. couldn't really get what renita was trying to say. but i remembered "we're God's people, living in God's place, with God's rules. therefore we get God's blessings." pity that i missed the games ): went for personal trng with mr koh. it rocked too! (x did feeding. my backhand sucks now. gotta work harder on it. i loveee personal trng (: but it's kinda short. 1 hr only :

bought another pair of jeans :x i've -idunnohowmany- pairs at home. perhaps i should make this the last pair of jeans (x

made this layout when i was free yesterday. featuring accidentally in love - counting crows. click here. tell me if you want it kays? (: twin suggested that we should use it for our blog. but i find it rather hornay (x maybe i'll make a dashboard confessional one when i'm free. vindicated rocks. but i'm sick of it after hearing it for -idunnohowmany- times :s

gonna have bbq later with my cousins. gah. not again. i've been eating a lot lately. gonna get fatterr. haha.

orchard

2004-07-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

happy belated birthday jess! don't be too upset by what others say kays? coz it's not true at all. and nothing can change the fact that you rock (: bozos rule!

founders day was boring. same old thing again. the primary school kids came back! (: they're damndamn cute! ahhh. i really miss the primary school kids now that they're gone ): anyways it was fun crapping with shan. most of the time we were talking bout softball and shan's beloved eggtart. sheesh. haha. the only thing i like bout founders day is that we can go home early =x

went to orchard today with yiling and sulin. watched mean girls again. don't really mind coz mean girls is quite a nice movie. sorta window shopped. orchard's boring : gah. nothing nice to shop. met a whole bunch of people today. the netties, zhi, bernice, etc. tsktsk. today's just not my day. haha. shan't go into details (x bought a necklace from perlini's silver (: it's soso nice. famous amos cookie rocks!

__missingyou.

trng

2004-07-19T20:09:00.000+08:00

hmm. ~~mr ong actually reads my blog~~ =x freaky. can't really post anything personal or talk about trng-related stuff : really hope mr koh can give me personal trng on sundays! -fingers crossed- i love mr koh's personal trngs. so nice. haha.

whee. softball roxx. hurhurhur (x mg's softball coach is superr funny and nice to crap with! dawn and i were crapping with him after trng and trying to learn more about softball. yesyes twin. i know what's perfect game now. i don't mind joining the softies for a few trngs but i still greatly prefer squash : oops.

i gotta workhardworkhardworkharderrr! muz get into top 5 and hopefully mg b and c div can get gold next year for squash. i feel so motivated now. self-motivation. haha. wish i was running 2.4km. i can run faster when i'm motivated -.-" anyways i really gotta train harder.

maroon 5

2004-07-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

haven't blogged for days or maybe weeks : blogger has changed again. it seems so cute with all the font sizes and stuff! (x it's more convienient now. anyways, changed layout again! maroon 5. perhaps i'll come up with another version some time later (:

my granny roxx big time! went over to her house and had a talk with her. she's such a nice granny (:

saturday
went for ailing's wedding. she looked so chio in the wedding gown and curly hair! matured ailing. haha. it was superr romantic and funny. one of ailing's shoes got caught in the crack of the door =x pastor ian's son is superr cute! he looked so tensed up when he was walking down the asle with the rings on a pillow (x anyways the youth sang "blessed" for ailing. our song got cut off halfway coz it was the last item -.-" ohoh. i wore a skirt. yucks. doubt i'll ever wear a skirt again. i look awful ): we sorta formed the a-s-s sisters group. haha. adele, shu ya and sophia =S shu ya and renita looked sooo chio! i love the cookies which renita baked. yumyum!

had a mother-daughter talk again -.-" i did tear after my mum left the study. argh. she thinks that i'm not serious in my work and i return home too late. it's not as if i could do anything about it. i feel that i've done my best in my studies and i return home late coz of training. ugh. they're not gonna deprive me of squash. i'd rather give up on my stupid piano lessons :

new layout

2004-07-13T20:22:00.000+08:00

haven't updated for a long time |: i'm sick of my current layout. i'll most likely make one during the weekends. featuring maroon 5 or the song broken (: i know it takes up a lot of my time. but it's funn!

didn't go to ailing's wedding rehersal. too busy. woops. did my hw and replied a few letters. see i'm so guai (x haha.

happy birthday lydia, estee lauder, vanny chin, vanny leong and co! can't remeber the rest |: ohno. my memory. haha. let me know if i've missed you out k? thankeww`

dead

2004-07-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

booboo! haven't been blogging recently. was quite busy |: cooped up with school work and stuff. almost fainted today. lack of sleep and food. i've been eating quite little recently, skipping meals and all. irregular meal times. haha. i've been sleeping quite late too. gotta get loads of rest during the weekends (:

went for prefect meeting. lasted pretty long though. i'm sorta in the internal affairs committee now (i think). i'm supposed to follow my mentor (lydia) around. hope i can be in ad-hoc next year! ad-hoc roxx. so funn. get to plan camps and stuff (x the prefects are gonna have a mission trip! but it's only open for sec 3s and 4s ): i lovee mission trips!

trng was great. one of the best trngs. haha. perhaps it's because i only joined at around 4+. that's why i wasn't tired. ran 2.4km again. everyone improved! woohoo. dawn and i improved by one min. we were two seconds apart. yiling's racquet roxx! ahh. i'm so jealous! hmphf :/ i want yiling's racquet! her racquet's tension roxx. so nice so nice! (x so far the only racquet which can really make me hit hard. perhaps i'll just save up. gah.

oh yeah. happy birthday neeeeeecole! i'm not sure when's your birthday though. just know that it's coming soon. or it has already passed (x

com lab

2004-07-06T10:53:00.000+08:00

whee. it's recess now (: not gonna eat anything. nonono. hehe. i'm in the com lab with jeanie, kelly, shan and liany. shan's scolding us for not helping her with her beloved blog (x haha. singing [cyndi - ai ni] =x noisy us.

shan: haiyo. wait for you all can die wan.
hahaha. so funny.

so bored so bored. hope zhi can go to queensway later. i wanna buy fbt!

didn't exactly study for ting xie today. surprisingly i can remember quite a few words :/

ahhh. pwease tag if you visit my blog! my tags and comments are pethetic. so little ): sobx.

__ilubcheww!`

listen to my heart

2004-07-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

went to church although there was some kinda reluctance in me :/ cell was superr fun! everyone went crazy doing the nerdy eminem sign. haha =x out motto: everyone wants to be in the hip group! oops. the topic on chris and baoxian fighting over ivan is back (x oh yeah. ailing's getting married too! hehe. perhaps we'll buy the pair of forever friends bears wearing wedding gown for them (:

ooh. church's gonna show soccer finals tomorrow morning at 2:35am in the bethel [sp?] auditorium. so far the only person i know who's going is bryner korkor :/

Endlessly
Every time I look into your eyes
I see forever
I don't know why
But every time we touch I feel alive
There's nothing like it
People say that love can't be that strong
You might just believe it
I can show you
I can prove them wrong

Listen to my heart beat for you
Telling you that I adore you
If you wanna know how much I feel inside
Listen to my heart come closer
Let me wrap my arms around you
There's nothing I can't do
I'm so in love with you
Just listen to my heart

All my love
You really need to know that you're mine
I'm spending the lifetime
My whole life
There's nothing gonna stop us
Cause we are
A once in a lifetime

People say that love can't be that strong
You might just believe it
We can show you
We can prove them wrong

I can't tell you what our future holds
But as long as we're in love
We're in life

Listen to my heart (:

pissed

2004-07-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

hiatus. thr's no point of me updating. i'm tired of updating when all i write is crap. since nobody comes to my blog. i shall delete it for good (: or perhaps i will just change my layouts but not update. ok anyways this will most likely be my last update in a long time :/

went to j8 to watch spiderman 2. it's quite ok. a rather odd ending. it gives me the impression that they're rushing to end the movie or they ran out of brilliant ideas to end the movie =x dawn was quite scared of the monsterr. haha. not sure what he's called. the mad scientist who had 4 robotic limbs (x anyways. dawn was pulling my blouse the whole time. think she almost ripped it off. oops.

mood swing

2004-06-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

the pic of thie froggie is soooooo cute! (x ripped it from friendster again =x

finally updating (: lol. ok stop hurrying me to update. ladeedum.

seriously dunno wad to blog. gotta sleep early tonite. sister ong and ms tan said that i look tired. -yawn- i admit that i've been sleeping late recently. anyways. nitenite`

school re-open

2004-06-27T21:38:00.000+08:00

gag. school's starting tomorrow and i haven't done my homework yet. -dies- thankeww` twin for helping me with my hw! although you didn't do much but listen to my ramblings. haha. you sound funny when you brush your teeth anyways =x

yay! there's training tomorrow. woohoo. finally the first training after school. hope there won't be hcl tomorrow. -fingers cross and prays hard- argh. my chinese sux and i hate chinese =s

punk motto: there's no one we can't punk (:

sometimes i think that i'm better off dead. seriously. i've done so many wrong doings. i'm really better off dead. sigh. i'm sorry for everything i've done. i'm just so fickle minded. so indecisive. sometimes i wish i could just stick to one desicion and that's it ):

nobody's home

2004-06-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

added haloscan (: feel free to post comments. ladeedum. i'm so proud of my punking company! we're THE punkers and we rawk! (x

I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it every day
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

What's wrong what's wrong now
Too many too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
find the reasons why
You've been rejected
Now you can't find
What you've left behind

Be strong be strong now
Too many too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place

She's lost inside
Lost inside

Nobody's home

give me a break. i've enough of this nonsense. you're pressurizing me so much. so much that i can't even breathe. i need time. i need my own world. my own space. my life doesn't belong to you. let me do what i want. what i desire. please let me fly. give me back my freedom. that's all i wish for. my only hope.

squash outing

2004-06-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH, MEL, ELINE AND JOLYN!

had squash outing. it was superr funn! (: but tiring :/ celebrated ruth, mel, eline and jolyn's birthday (: miss tang baked a choco cake. yummy. haha.

played some games and cycled at east coast beach. have quite a lot of cuts and bruises -owww- shared the two people bike with dawn. we had a big of difficulty at first but it was nonetheless funn once we figured it out. haha. cycled to a point when we met zhi and joyce. zhi wanted to trick us at first by cycling fast and pretending to crash into us. but who knows. we DID crash (x -ouch- more cuts and bruises on my body. it was pretty fun colliding into each other =x

went to moessc [ministry of education sea sports centre] to kayak. did some goal setting. can't tell the details =s haha. it was funfunfun! but uber tiring. shared a kayak with yiling. felt damn hopeless. we only kayaked a pretty short distance and we're already half dead. -gag- i'm feeling giddy now.

ouchouchouch. fibre glass. so painful! it suxx. it feels like i've static all over my body. haha.

goodluck seniors for your match tmr against sas! we're gonna trash them! (x c'div may be playing also -panics- hope i get an easy opponent.

yay. don't feel pissed anymore (: was kinda pissed just now at someone. argh. anyways. thankeww for consoling me. although it was oh-so-crappy. haha.

mgsquashies rawk! everyone's super nice. without airs. so humble and friendly (: i'm not flattering them just bcoz i'm an mgsquashie as well. rawk on and train hard! we can get that well deserved gold. it's within our reach. as long as we strive for it. goodluck`

regrets

2004-06-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

whee. today rocked (: went to j8 and watched around the world in 80 days AGAIN =.+ ate some stuff at sakae sushi. the bill was $12+ this time. not that bad. haha. played with wasabe again. it roxx! so fun to see people tear while eating wasabe (x i'm a sadist. yes yes. couldn't sleep during the movie. although i wanted to :/ it was too loud and the cinema was kinda full. lalala. we spilled pop corns! pity the cleaner =s will have a hard time cleaning up the mess we made. we're messy eaters! wasabe roxx. warheads roxx. popcorns roxx. froggie roxx. but nothing roxx more than froggie's shoulders (:

there's a point in your life when you'll regret what you've done. the mistakes that you've made. it's impossible to turn back the time however. life is full of regrets. how i wish i can turn back the time. everything would be complete. i can't go on wishing my life away. i can't go on having regrets about everything i did. i guess you guys are tired of me repeating these few lines. so i shan't gloat about it. it will be my last and final time saying this. `nitenite.

it's better to regret doing a particular thing than regret not doing it at all. in whatever you do, think through it. the endings may be appalling, it's impossible for the chance to slip by again but at least you tried.

enervated

2004-06-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

layout change (: another of my horrid creations. this layout featuring hoobastank. couldn't really decide on hoobastank or mcfly :/

enervated. exhausted. tired. drained. i really am. give me a break. i need more rest. not going for training on wednesday (:

played like crap today. round robbin. didn't feel like playing and i couldn't concentrate. i still need more sleep. haha.

went with zhi to retreat. it was kinda boring. went all the way to changi and we played games only. :? the best part of it was getting wet! haha.

~~istillcan'tforgetyou.~~

nobody's home

2004-06-19T23:32:00.000+08:00

~~i can't go on spending like that. can't be a spendthrift. i gotta learn how to save up. although it's hard but i'm gonna TRY. no more spending of money unless i'm gonna watch a movie. (:~~

it's pretty annoying knowing that people come to my blog but they don't tag =x

i haven't been actually blogging for the past few days. i'm just posting songs after songs. but all of them explains my feelings. anyways. went to j8 yesterday with zhi and dawn after trng. zhi wanted to get her sis a bdae prezzie. how sweet (: but she didn't buy anything in the end. i was the one ended up shopping =x now i'm seriously broke ): watched "around the world in 80 days". it's quite a nice show. but spiderman still roxx! ahhh. i wanna watch spiderman! (x we shopped a bit then went for dinner at sakae sushi (: we ate A LOT. the waitress was staring at the amount of food we ate. haha. played scissors, paper, stone. fancy us playing that game at such an age =s the loser had to eat wasabi with sushi. i lost ): but the wasabi wasn't that hot as we thought. haha. we sorta played with it (x our bill was $35 :/ actually we didn't eat that much. did we? i bought a pink stripy wallet, white bag, nelly furtado - folklore and hoobastank - the reason.

my happy ending

2004-06-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

you've changed so much that it scares me sometimes. what happened to the real you? where've you been? i've been questioning myself. hoping to find an answer. but i know everything's just a waste of time. i'm sorry i took you for granted. i'm sorry for everything. it's just pointless saying it. forget it.

it's pointless blogging. nobody reads my entries anyways. i'll consider deleting my diary. it'll be gone for the good. everything's just a waste of time. life's just a nonsensical game. everything's pointless. i don't even know why i do some stuff sometimes. it just contradicts. ugh. will you guys friggin hell stop playing with my life?! just leave me alone.

anyways it's just a temporary design. i'll work on the pics tomorrow (: once again. i don't know why i'm making designs when this blog's so DEAD. argh.

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
All of our memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

My happy ending.

the reason

2004-06-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

changing layout soon (: hopefully it would be completed by tomorrow. my site's seriously pathetic. after twin left, hardly anyone visits it. joyce! i want you back noww! miss you so badly. i miss crapping with you and your lame jokes during trng ):

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

The reason.

one way

2004-06-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

yay! changed layout. my first layout made with the help of adobe photoshop. but it's the older version. ): sorta "discovered" it in my sister's com.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO SHEWWY, CHAR AND SUET!

oww. i'm having muscle aches, bruises and cuts all over my body. =x ok i'm exaggerating stuffs. maybe i'm only having muscle ache. not bruises and cuts all over my body. haha. wonder how i'm gonna train tomorrow. hopefully mr koh will train us. so i'll be able to see how nice he is! haha. since everyone says that he's cool, nice, etc. (:

this is so far the only song which has an impact on me. (:

i lay my life down at Your feet
You're the only one i need
i turn to You and You are always there
in troubled times it's You i seek
i put You first that's all i need
i humble all i am, all to You

You are always, always there
every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
yesterday, today the same
forever till forever meets no end

one way, Jesus, You're the only one
that i could live for
one way, Jesus, You're the only one
that i could live for

You are the way, the truth, and the life
we live by faith and not by sight, for You
we're living all for You

one way.

poem

2004-06-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

the day you walked out of my life
was the day i closed the door of my heart to anyone else
it was the day where laughter ended
and rain clouds rolled in
it was the day tears flowed without cease
it was the day you walked out of my life
the day i was left all alone
because of you.

mummy's bdae

2004-06-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

ahhh! i overslept yesterday and missed trng! )': feel so guilty.

): i miss camp. miss everyone in camp. ohwells. i really look forward to church this sunday. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
my actual mum. not dawn. haha. doubt my mum will visit my blog but i'm still wishing her happy bdae anyways. my dad bought her this necklace with various gem stones from soo kee jewellery. how sweet. (:

watched home on the rage today. it was pretty ok. not as nice as troy. (x that's still my fav movie so far among the few which i've watched during the june hols.

bought adidas superstar zm w. click on the image for a larger version.

-sigh- my com's screwed. so's my phone. ~~screw it.~~ i need a new phone and com. seriously. ):

credits to chris for this poem. (: i find it damn nice.

though face glowing
poise upheld
inside's destroyed
lost
in hell
try as she might to conceal her pain
eyes drowned in sorrow
her attempt in vain

finally home

2004-06-10T23:07:00.000+08:00

yay! i'm home! finally. after a long day. (: planning to change my layout. once again. and email. but i can't seem to decide on a new email add. anyways. this entry's gonna be damn long so just bear with my rantings.

/wedding dinner]
the groom's my mum's cousin aka my uncle. i love their house. :D my grand uncles rawk! they're damn funny. finally someone older whom i can crap with. :/ found out that i belong to the youngest generation in the family. i've a 14 yr old auntie in england and a 15 yr old uncle in m'sia. anyways. the bride looked. -cough- i shan't comment on that. the food was pretty alright. ate quite a lot. =x went shopping at sunway and some other shopping centre which i can't remember. spent bout 500RM. =s yesyes i'm a spend thrift. haha.

/church camp]
church camp rawked! ahhh. i miss everyone! (x took care of the junior church kids. they're all damn cute! esp the toddlers who joined us on the first day. that reminds me of benben! the 18mth old cutie. (: he rolls on the floor and will respond "tummy" when u say "benben has big big big..." cute rite? haha.

slept for 3h 15min on the first day. one afternoon wasted. haha. i was feeling damn tired. dunno why either. ><

played bball with chris and ivan [chris's current bf - they just started today =x]. went to swim with delci and the rest. it was damn funny. got dunked countless times. i'm gonna get sexist and ah pek for this. argh. =x

it's so fun match making. delci and i match maked christiane and ivan. but we regretted doing so. they're seriously over doing it. kissing on the neck, cheek, putting their hands on each other's lap. :/ anyway it seems that baoxian likes ivan too. she was pretty extra today during the skit but i guess that's the way she reacts. seriously wad's so good bout ivan? =x

wrote two poems when i was bored. -.- okok stop laughing at it kays. i did it to kill my boredom. i'll post one today and the other tomorrow. gotta go to bed. -sigh- thr's trng tmr. but it's with mr koh. hope it turns out to be fun. (: `nitenite.

aware of the consequences
i yearn for a second chance
hoping that you would understand my every intention
hurting you
was the last thing on my mind
if i could turn back the time
everything would be complete
just the two of us
with an everlasting friendship
and pure admiration
but it's too late for regrets
i can't go on dreaming
`every step i take
is another mistake.
-forcedlove-

missing you

2004-06-02T19:08:00.000+08:00

yay!! i'm finally done wif my shoutoutx page.. ((: tell me if i've missed u out.. click here. [i've made some changes to it]

~~offtomalaysia.. ))': will miss u guys loads..~~

squash poster which joyce made.. ((: it's pweeety.. click on the img for a larger version..

Love is
knowing that people are different
and loving them just the same
buying someone flowers for no reason
changing your plans for someone
listening and giving advice
and knowing the difference between the two
crying for someone
when you know they are feeling hurt
and lastly being there...

poem

2004-06-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

Will you ever?
I don't think you will
Ever fully understand
How you've touched my life
And made me who I am.
I don't think you could ever know
Just how truly special you are
That even on the darkest nights
You are my brightest star.
I don't think you will ever fully comprehend
How you've made my dreams come true
Or how you've opened my heart
To love and the wonders it can do.
You've allowed me to experience
Something very hard to find
Unconditional love that exists
In my body
Soul
And mind.
I don't think you could ever feel
All the love I have to give
And I'm sure you'll never realize
You've been my will to live.
You are an amazing person
And without you
I don't know where I'd be
Having you in my life
Completes and fulfills every part of me.

trng

2004-05-31T22:18:00.000+08:00

~~trngs are getting boring.. the enthusiasm seemed to haf disappeared after the hols.. i'm not sure wad happened though.. but iwishitwillbeback..~~

went to coronation for nth.. -.- all bcoz of dawn.. haha.. did nth other than walk in ~~circles~~.. =T dawn's defination of "walking in circles": turn 360 degrees on the same spot..

sucker

2004-05-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

argh.. i can't stand this particular gal.. wun blog bout her.. i'm not gonna waste my time on such a __________.. i'll jus go hop ard wif jess who coincidentally hates this gal too.. ((:

char's prezzie

2004-05-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

u can nvr imagine wad liany and shan gave char.. it's.. it's.. ~~thongs~~.. =X black thongs.. ecks.. the worst prezzie anyone cld haf.. anyways, i've bought ur prezzie liao.. dun worry, it's not smth disgusting.. ((:

went out wif vany chin, vany leong, joy, hui shan, kelly and ifr-ee.. almost died of excess shopping.. =/ we were so tired then.. i'm seriously broke when the hols barely started.. -blahh-

today's ms lim's last day in sku.. )): -sobb- wrote her a letter.. hopefully she'll rmb us..

WOOHOO!! rjc beat acjc for badminton.. :D the ac family's losing this year.. acjc lost for rugby and hockey also.. =T feel kinda sad for them..

ifonlyyouwerehere
totakeawayallofmypain
mysorrows
everythingwillbecomplete
needingyou

prefectship

2004-05-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

ahhh.. typed a long entry jus now but my com hanged.. )):

i'm a prefect.. -.- i'm having second thoughts bout it though..
- parents may not allow coz they think that i wun be able to cope wif my studies and sports..
- none of my close frens are prefects.. =/ -blahh-
my "royal advicer" [beefy] says that i shld follow him and be a prefect.. =.+

yayys.. got a medal for inter-hse squash.. jackson won!! woohoo.. but i didn't play at all.. =S so sad.. i miss trng!! -hint hint mr ong- can't wait till squash outing.. haha..

was almost late for piano recital.. paid 10 bucks jus to slp in the audi.. =X was damn tired.. nvmnvm.. neways, dr thomas hecht's damn talented.. he can control his fingers and the pedal very well.. -nods- the onli thing is that he chose his songs wrongly.. i prefer soft classical music to loud ones..

imissyourpresence
missyourjokes
it'safeelingineverhadbefore
i'mfallinginlovewithyou
butit'simpossible
lovingyouinsilence

cross country

2004-05-26T15:44:00.000+08:00

inter-hse cross was funnn!! ((: ran wif rica.. walked for more than half the distance.. =X we were talking and laughin on the way.. sher came in 3rd.. so pro..

rica, nana, jess, shan and i were planning for our future after the run..
sec 2: 2i or 2e
sec 3: 3a2
sec 4: 4a2
jc: rjc, hcjc
challenging.. all the good sports classes and skus.. doubt i'm qualified for hcjc or rjc.. ohwells.. rjc was the champion for a' div squash [gals] and hcjc's 2nd..

oh yea.. tag my boardie kays? jus click on "whisper-" yepps.. lemme noe if it's too small to be seen.. thx.. (x

police report

2004-05-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

didn't play for inter-hse squash today coz lee walked over.. they were left wif 2 players - becks and wan pin.. becks sprained her ankle during her game wif nicole.. played bball instead.. didn't feel lyk playing.. didn't even make an effort to get the ball.. obviously, blackmore won.. jackson totally walked over for c' div bball.. tink jackson's losing for almost every sport except squash.. =S

today's a real sucky day.. ))': can't stand it.. argh.. so many bad stuff happened to me.. whiez me?! ugh.. i realli dun understand.. went to the police station to make a report.. dawn lost my walkathon card.. -.- waited for more than an hour.. i was damn tired and pissed by then.. by the time i reached home it was bout 8 liao.. i've nvr felt so happy to arrive home.. i realli felt lyk fainting then.. =T -sigh- neways, this incident has made me realise who are my real frens.. ((:

beefy's quote: "you have to be cruel to climb up higher.." =X

shoutoutx:
zhi:thx for waiting wif me at the police post today!! =D sorry for causing you to be late for ur dinner appointment.. =T

beefy: thxx Racist Individual for being thr for me when i needed company.. (x keeping me entertained 24/7.. haha.. i'll miss ur jokes and quarrels..

garfield: thx for cheering me up, being thr for me and the countless hillsongs!! ((: realli appreciate ur encouragements and advices.. godbless-

still

2004-05-23T18:30:00.000+08:00

hide me now
under Your wings
cover me, within Your mighty hand

when the oceans rise
and thunders roar
i will soar with You, above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
i will be still, know you are God

find rest my soul
in Christ alone
know His power, in quietness and trust

still.